growth potential
It’s that time of year. I don’t honestly know how many followers i still have considering i hardly post anymore, but for those that stuck around, thank you. ANYWAYS, its that time of year where i spent an inordinate amount of time over the holidays to reflect on the year that passed.
2011 was a bitch of a year, let me just say that right off the bat. I separated from someone i cared about very much (and still do, you know, just not in that way), and it took a long time to really let that sink in. It’s tough to make a vision of where you’re going to be in (x) amount of time, and thinking vividly that they will be there with you for those big moments that you have created. Then you realize that those moments no longer exist, not even in the annals of your imagination.
I spent the second half of 2011 feeling sorry for myself and overanalyzing my faults and trying to think about what i could do better. I left my serious relationship with someone i care about and compensated by attempting more self-destructive relationship with someone who didnt care about me. Not a great way to go.
Then around Pearl Harbor Day, it hit me (no pun intended, but coincidental timing is allowed). I shouldn’t be blaming myself for how my life has gone. Nor should I be blaming girls or luck or anything like that.
I know that i am a good person. I do my best to do right by others. I am caring and compassionate and do everything i can to ensure that other people put their best foot forward. In the case of courtney, it took our separation to put her best foot forward. (she also has a wonderful post that is a lot like this one, and i’d be lying if she wasnt the inspiration for it). She came out of this year with a nice outlook, and apparently with a new rockin bod that someone is going to be very lucky to see. Get it, girl.
As for me, I have had the opportunity to imagine my future again. This time around, it’s not me married or living somewhere, or moving somewhere to attempt to be in love. It’s me, working hard, doing what i love doing, enjoying my life (and my dog) and realizing that this future is something that I have made.
I am a web designer. Or at least i strive to be. I’ve designed 3 sites this year, and one of them has gotten me 3 more potential clients. I have a portfolio going up that people are anxious to see. I have a company that i am starting up, that already has work lined up once it launches. I have my health. I have my friends. I have Finn. I have my goals and i have my work ethic back (finally). I have seen my growth potential and it’s up to me to hit it.
I quit smoking, have a gym membership, a nice bike, and legs to use it. I live in california, where i can go outside ANY DAY OF THE YEAR and not worry about hypothermia. Time to use it or lose it.
2012 is going to be my bitch. lets all do the same.
